My ex-wife (34F) and mine’s (34M) divorce was finalized last week. It was a long process, and it lasted a year and a half. Quite simply, I didn’t love my ex wife anymore. I found some flirty texts between her and her co worker, and that was when I lost my love for her.  We have 2 children (14M, 16F), and both love their mom. 

When my divorce was finalized last week, my sister (31F) came over to celebrate, she had baked a lemon cake. My son and I both enjoyed the cake, lemon is my favorite flavor, and that cake was heaven. But my daughter refused to eat the cake, and she said it was insensitive that we were celebrating like this, given how long the divorce process was, and how painful it was for her mom. 

AITAH?

I posted a while ago about serving dog food to the woman my brother in law eventually married. Wendy hasn't changed much since then. She did shut up after she went to a few different taco places and they all told her what proper barbacoa is.

So anyway now whenever we have people over I always prepare a meal specially for her. Usually just plain unseasoned meat (other than salt and pepper, I'm not a monster) plain green salad with ranch on the side, and a plain starch like a baked potato or white rice.

I do not limit her to this food. I just always have it available in case she finds something offensive about the other food I make.

We recently hosted a dinner party that included my wife's brother and his wife. We also had some new friends over. Thea, the wife, asked if my sister in law had allergies since she was eating plain roast chicken breast with the aforementioned sides. She was worried about cross contamination since there was a lot of other food there I guess. Thea is a teacher and is hyper vigilant about food allergies.

This lead to Wendy explaining that I use cuts of meat that she did not grow up eating and that I refuse to tell her what is in the food I make.

This is a fact. I learned my lesson. I make food my friends and family enjoy. If I use an ingredient that may be against a dietary restriction I make it clear. For example if I serve pork I let everyone know. I also will answer any questions about allergens.

My sister in law says that I insist on feeding her the most bland food possible. I pointed at the salsa verde on her food and asked her if it needed more serranos.

The whole story came out and Wendy was embarrassed again. I don't think it was my fault. I have been passive aggressively been making sure she cannot complain about my cooking.

My wife says that maybe it's time to stop making a separate meal for Wendy. I said she is lucky I don't serve her dino nuggets and lunchables.

My post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/eo7skZ6Sqh

Thank you very much for all the private messages and comments. I’m so glad I posted here. So many of you suspected that he has had vasectomy. Well, I decided to have a serious discussion with him about everything last night. He said he has never cheated on me and he never will. I asked him if he had vasectomy and ffs just tell me. He didn’t even deny it. He said yea but you gotta understand I lost my wife when my youngest was an infant. It was such a traumatic time for me. I wanted to make sure I’ll never go through it again. I started crying ! I asked him how could he lie to me all these years? He didn’t even feel bad! He said “well you never asked! You asked now and I told you! Plus what’s the big deal? I have frozen sperm in the clinic and it’s a reversible procedure”. I was floored! You saw me taking pills yet you didn’t mention? He said “well, I thought you are taking pills because you have heavy period”. I couldn’t believe this man still blames me when he was the one lying in my face! I told him how unhappy I am, how burnt out I am and he uses his work hours so he can dump the responsibilities on me and I don’t even feel loved anymore. I gave him his ring back and told him I was done. He was shocked. At first he thought I was kidding then he saw me packing my clothes at 11 pm so he started arguing that I should just wait a little longer so by December he will know about his job. After that we will go to a fertility clinic and “you will have your stupid baby”. Then he started guilt tripping me. Saying stuff like his kids have already been traumatized once how could I be so selfish and leave them. I didn’t even bother answering. I left for my parent’s place. He has been begging and saying he will change , he will be more involved , and asking me to come back (“you are their mom! Come back! We miss you “)🙄. I’m mentally exhausted. I can’t believe I have been so stupid. I’m gonna start finding a place for myself near my work. Thank you

The ex and I have been divorced for several years. After the divorce, I bought another house and she moved to a nearby city. The schools in my city are among the highest ranked schools in our state and one of the high school is ranked top 20 in the country. The schools in her city is among the lowest ranked with regularly fights and even kids hitting teachers. After a year of the kids going to the schools in her city, we decided our kids should go to school here.

When the ex have custody, she drops them off at my house in the mornings so they can take the bus to school then they stay at my house after school, eat dinner with me, and do their homework until she picks them up around 8.

A couple of years ago she married a guy who has sole custody of a couple of kids around the same ages as mine. His kids go to the schools in her city. The end of school is next week and as she picked up the kids last night, she asked if I’d be willing to let them use my address so that the other kids can join mine. She said that there was a big fight this week at one of their schools and at the beginning of the year, a video of one of the students beating a teacher made the news.

Her idea is that she changes her address to mine and we keep the same schedule with just added kids. I immediately refused since (1) I don’t want the ex to have my address on her license and (2) I don’t want to take care of kids I don’t know for 4 or 5 hours a day. She thinks I’m being dramatic and putting those kids in danger. She also said that her kids are going to have less of an education where they are and be less prepared for college than ours.

Am I wrong for not wanting responsibilities for random kids?

I (27F) have a (34M) husband. We got married 6 years ago and we were together for 3 years prior to that. When we first met, he was very fit and quite the gym rat. however, since our wedding he has gained over 225 pounds and is still adding to that number. He is not the man i fell in love with. Every day when i come home from work, the kitchen is trashed. He cant clean up for himself anymore and needs assistance with many daily tasks. It hurts to see how much he has lost himself. And honestly, i’m getting quite tired. i didn’t sign up for this! it’s like i’m working 2 jobs. last week, when i served him divorce papers, he blew up on me. he said how could i do this to him, and accused me of being fat-phobic. since then, his entire side of the family has been harassing me nonstop. theyve been telling everyone i know that i’m a terrible person and it’s really starting to get to me. So, AITAH?

I've been with my husband for 7 years and it honestly kills me to walk away because outside of this issue, he is fantastic. He takes care of me, loves me, makes sure I'm taken care of, etc and I love him more than anything. But this issue has been happening for the past year and it's basically ruined my reputation among everyone.

Last year he started working for a small business and is one of 12 employees. Up until this point, he didn't have many friends. So his social life was heavily stunted and he craved interaction. So when he started working for this company and was immediately included in everything, he soaked it in. He was being invited to dinner, parties, boat trips, fires, etc within the first week of working there. By a month in, he was hanging out with these guys nearly every day after he got off work. He started drinking a lot more because all of these men drink like a fish and he is an individual who cracks under peer pressure and is a follower by nature. He told me several times that he felt like he couldn't say no. It started causing a lot of fights, because I was pregnant when this began and I felt so pushed to the side and forgotten about. He started coming home from 9p-1a (he was off work at 430p). A few times having stayed out until 5 o'clock in the morning. I started shutting down because I was tired of repeating myself and expressing my needs, just to have him do whatever his friends wanted anyways. After I gave birth to our daughter, he got better for awhile. He stopped going out. I think by the time the baby was 3 months old, he had only gone out once. But after that, he fell right back in to old patterns and didn't even tell me when he was leaving anymore. I would think he was home but he had left to go riding four-wheelers with his buddies or to a party down the street. So, a month ago I went psycho. I walked over to the window just as he was taking off on his fourwheeler and watched him pull in to our neighbors yard (a big party spot). I walked down there with the baby and lost my shit on him in front of everyone there and told him I was leaving because he was inconsiderate and neglectful and I was tired of repeating myself. Everyone just sat there staring at me, completely silent. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I shouldn't have gone up there at all but in that moment I just didn't even think about it. Now I regret it. But anyways, he literally looks at me and doesn't say anything. Comes home 30 minutes later and goes to sleep on the floor.

He stopped going out after that. But I started noticing that everyone was treating me like crap. If I spoke to anyone, they would just look at me and walk away or they would avoid me altogether. It became very awkward and I stopped going outside at all and started isolating. Well, I overheard my husband on the phone last night saying "I know man, I wish I could come but Hannah won't let me." Followed by a "I know, it's bullshit." I asked him who he was talking to. He hangs up. I ask to see his phone and he kept asking why but eventually gave it to me. There were tens of texts to his buddies blaming me for him not going out. Saying "Hannah won't let me" or "Hannah said no" or "I can't fucking do anything because lord forbid I get time to myself after busting my ass to keep a roof over her head". He had not asked me one single time if I minded if he went out. So he just told them no and blamed me without even running it by me. This is NOT who my husband was before he got tied in with this group of coworkers. I just start packing up me and my daughter. He was following me around the house, begging, crying, telling me not to leave, apologizing. Before I left I said "I've sat by and dealt with being chose second to a bunch of people who would never choose you first and you still blamed me and made me look like the one in the wrong. Now you can live the life you want without me controlling you." I am at my mother's and have told him not to contact me unless it's about our child. My best friend is telling me I need to work it out because my husband is truly a great guy and I know this isn't him. But I can't trust him anymore. AITA?

When I (40M) was a kid, I was groomed by a cousin 11 years older than me and when I was 13, she got pregnant and had the kid. It fucked me up a lot as you can imagine and she eventually was found out and went to prison for it. The kid was took off her and went the foster care/adoption route and I was not allowed any form of relationship at all with the kid - my parents and social services forbade it. He's now 26 and has had a very troubled life I understand (been in and out of prison) . I have continued to have no relationship or contact with him.

Despite issues in my teens, I turned my life around and I'm now married to my wife (45F) and we have a daughter (6F) together. I have a son (19M) from a previous relationship who I had sole custody of until I met my wife and she has a daughter (25F) from a previous relationship. I'm no stranger to Reddit so I'll answer now yes, I have had therapy and counselling for it all.

We've had a pretty good family unit for a few years but 3 years ago, I had a hard time with my son after he found about what happened to me as a kid and he found out he technically has an older half brother and wanted a relationship with him. Despite how hard it was for me, I agreed and my wife mainly agreed to be the main support for him and be behind it all on the condition a) I have no contact myself and b) our daughter doesn't hear about it and is kept out of it. My reasoning on the latter is that she's too young to find out and I don't want to confuse her at such a young age and also, she's a kid and will talk about it and I don't want anyone to find my business out. My wife agreed and son respected my wishes and to my knowledge, it's all been handled well. The 26M got out of prison a couple of years ago and I understand my son has met him and I thought after a while, my wife stepped away a bit as he's now old enough to have contact on his own. I have never said she would never be told the truth, just that we would tell her when she was older and could understand.

Last week, I noticed my daughter was drawing a picture and I looked at it and I asked her about it. She was a bit sheepish and was acting like she wasn't supposed to so I persisted and she answered me.

It was a picture of her family. It had me, her mum, her, my son, her older sister and her "big big" brother in her words. I asked her about it after more coaxing and she said she sees him with mummy sometimes on their own. I asked her how long it's happened for and she said since she was little but mummy said she's not supposed to talk about it and said to not tell daddy as it'll upset me. I reassured her she's not in trouble and I'm not upset with her and confronted my wife about it later when she got in.

She admitted it was true and I asked her how long it's been going on and she said ever since my son had contact 3 years ago. She took my daughter to see him in prison once at the start because she didn't have childcare one day and when he got out, she's kept taking her to see him since. I asked her who knows and she admitted they all know - her, my son and even my step-daughter knows. I was beyond angry so I packed some things and left the house and have been staying at an air BnB since. She's been trying to call me to talk, so has my son and even my step-daughter has been trying to call me to talk about it. I just can't face them.

I know I need to go home today and I'm in the process of contemplating it but I genuinely feel like I can't stand them all and I'm thinking of asking for a divorce over it. My wife was the one person in life who I trusted, and had my back enough to share it all and I feel like she's done something on par with what my rapist did and betrayed my trust. Despite her keeping on saying how sorry she is, she just keeps on saying she did it for our daughter and felt sorry for the older lad.

WIBTAH?

UPDATE so I'm going to go home and talk to them all. I fucking miss my kids so much and the dog. no idea what will happen.

UPDATE 2 So I got home and me and the wife have had a chat. I've decided I don't want a divorce but we are going to separate for a bit and she's going to stay with my step-daughter for a while. We're going to try couples counselling to see where it takes us.

I see some suggestions about trying individual therapy again. That is a given and I'm definitely going again.

My husband 36M and I 30F have been married for 6 years. We have two kids (4F/2M). I'm a SAHM now. We didn't discuss this before marriage but when I gave birth to our daughter I just couldn't manage working. taking care of our daughter. and doing all the house chores. There were times when I needed help at home but I felt like I couldn't ask for help because I wasn't bringing in any money. It was also very difficult for me to be financially dependent on my husband. I never asked for anything for "me" because he sometimes voiced how he felt a lot of pressure as the sole provider.

Fast forward to 3 days ago. His younger sister lives in another country and comes to town once or twice a year. last week she told him she would visit. My husband and I invited the family for dinner. We were all having a good time when my SIL started coughing and had trouble breathing. It was then I knew she was horribly allergic to peanuts (I later knew that she had gone into anaphylactic shock a few times before).

We all rushed to her side to help. I then got slapped on the face from behind (not so hard but it did sting) I was facing away from my husband so I didn't see it coming. I tried to explain that no one told me before (I had only seen her a few times after the wedding and never cooked for her). He was yelling at me the whole time I was trying to explain myself. When I told him that he knew I would be doing all the cooking for tonight then why didn't think of telling me about it. He pushed me down the couch and smacked me on the arms/back and the back of my head. His family rushed to us and stopped him. They checked if I was okay for a minute then went back to my SIL's side. His older brother stayed by my side to ensure I was okay and to see if I needed anything. After a few minutes my husband came back to the living room and acted like nothing happened.

My BIL asked him if he had told me about their sister's allergy before and he didn't answer. I told him I never knew about it until now. My in-laws checked on me one more time and then excused themselves. Only his older brother stayed with us.

He asked me if it was the first time my husband laid his hands on me. I couldn't answer with my husband sitting across from us. He suggested we take some time to process and think about what just happened. I left that night with my BIL and took my kids with me. I'm still with him and his wife (my family lives in another country). both my BIL and his wife suggest I stay until my husband realizes what he really did. My husband did apologize but said he panicked and was scared for his little sister (they are very close and growing up he was like a father to her) He kept repeating that if I cared enough about his family I would have asked him if anyone has any allergies since I was the one cooking for the night and he blamed me for his brother reaction.

I don't know where to go from here. I have no relatives in here to stay with until I sort everything out. I only have one friend and can't stay with her.

I grew up in a house where being grabbed by the face or arm was normal. But what happened that night was a little too much. I want my kids and I don't want to lose them over my decision. My husband suggested couples therapy yesterday. I'm thinking about getting a divorce or should I just let it slide and start therapy? I really have to think about it all because I know my family won't support me with my decision and I will be on my own.

Edit: My sister in law is okay. She's not angry with me for what happened. She even texted twice to check on me and the kids and apologized for not mentioning her allergy before (his family has always been good to me).

Thank you all for your comments. Even the ones where you called me a raving bitch for calling the cops after my daughter's allegations.

First

My ex was completely cleared. He was never home at the times she alleged the SA. We have security cameras in my house. There are exactly zero videos of him entering her room or being inappropriate with her in the common areas. I have already commented on the other evidence that got the charges against my ex dropped. She admitted the truth and said that she was doing it to get him out of our house. He is doing okay now. He has a new job and he and I still talk. Her excuse was that she didn't think I would immediately call the cops. She thought I would just kick him out since it is my house. She felt trapped and like she couldn't back down. She has never apologized to him. She has been in therapy since she was five. Both on her own and with me. To my knowledge she never mentioned anything about SA to her therapist. And they are mandatory reporters.

Second.

I told her that I will not be cosigning her loans. I told her that I will be backing her up and doing my best to make sure that she does not default but I am not risking my home or my future for her.

She fully understands now where her savings went. She is upset with herself mostly now. She realizes that the private school was my last choice. And only necessary because of choices she made.

Thank you all for your help.

Third.

Since I do not care about karma I will be giving this account to either u/Frickfrell or u/VermilionOcelot tomorrow.

They are welcome to delete the posts or sell the account for the $.59 it is worth.

My (31F) husband of 9 years was left by his ex wife after 5 years of marriage 13 years ago.

She left my stepdaughter behind and claimed that my husband and his family were tarnishing their daughter with LDS ideology and that she didn't have the strength to deal with his family's money. She also started a conspiracy theory that my husband's family knew, through marriage, business partnerships, or by blood to a lot of the lawyers, judges, cops in the area. Which is completely ludicrous.

Because my husband didn't want her to disrupt the daughter who she willingly abandoned my husband sent her a final lump sum payment after his alimony to her was ended, and she agreed to stop trying to angrily disrupt his family's lives via tantrums or slander.

She still had the opportunity to demand regular visitation, to arrange something semi regular for holidays. The best she could do was a few birthday cards and friending/ following Veronica on social media once she got a Facebook and Instagram.

My husband and I have our own two sons ( 9 and 4). Veronica ( now 18) has a very argumentative, self righteous personality. It's been hard, since I met her, to have any conversations with her and the only way to peace was avoidance.

At some point, I decided to defer to my husband when he said it was no use talking to somebody who answers everything with pure emotion. And he told me to stop playing the game of trying to please Veronica and to just not engage when I suspect she's moody.

So Veronica began claiming that my husband's policy of not engaging was him ignoring her. As she became a teen she'd start parroting her birth mom's view and would say she hated my husband's religious values.

In response, we decided to not engage and just focus on providing a happy childhood for our sons.

She is now a legal adult who just graduated high school. The law straw came when my husband complained about a business partner being annoying at dinner. She rolled her eyes, and said " then just give up the property you own with him for free. It's just money. I'd never pretend to like somebody I didn't just for money. I'd just quit if I didn't like my coworkers, not complain about it all the time."

I think that mockery of my husband made him say enough. He told me afterwards how angry he was at her. I'm sure some might argue my husband is overreacting and holds grudges he shouldn't but the disrespect is clear.

Long story short, my husband asked Veronica to leave and when she refused he wanted to file to evict. In response, she texted him she's leaving and she'll do fine without him, and gave him her house keys saying " I hope you are happy." My husband asks over text if she's voluntarily vacating and she replies " call it what you want- I'm leaving."

She then comes back days later begging for forgiveness. My husband refuses to let her back in and asked if I had any input on this, which I stayed silent on since he was aggravated. Her mom gets involved, finds me on Instagram, and asks me if my son was in her place if I would beg my husband to let him back in even if my husband got angry at me.

I told her that was a moot point. Her mom is mad that I refuse to do anything to " plead her case". I reply that why should I stick my neck out for her child when she has never done so in any meaningful way. I know I'd never abandon my sons ever even in the face of imminent physical danger to myself AITA?

Hey everyone,

I am using a throaway account, because my family knows my reddit account.

I (29F) need some advice. My sister, Lily (26F), is getting married in two months. I’ve always been supportive of her, and since our parents can’t contribute much, I offered to cover a significant portion of the wedding costs. However, things have taken a crazy turn, and I don’t know what to do.

Here’s the deal: I’ve been with my boyfriend, Tom (30M), for 5 years. We live together, and my family knows him well. So, imagine my shock when the invitations went out and Tom didn’t get one. I assumed it was a mistake, so I asked Lily about it. She said it wasn’t a mistake; she just didn’t want Tom there because she “never liked him” and didn’t want any “tension” on her special day.

I was stunned. Tom has always been respectful and kind to my family. When I told Lily that I felt uncomfortable attending without him, she doubled down and said it was her wedding, so she could invite (or not invite) whoever she wanted. Then she dropped another bombshell: she didn’t just want Tom uninvited, she wanted me to come without him but also pretend I was single for the day, as it “would be less awkward” for her and her guests.

I tried to reason with her, but she got really defensive and started making even more bizarre demands. She wanted me to change my dress because she thought the color I chose (a perfectly normal pastel blue) would outshine her. She also asked me to give a speech highlighting our “happy family moments” and to leave out any mention of my relationship with Tom because she didn’t want “any drama.”

I was already feeling disrespected, but then things escalated further. Last night, she called me in a panic, saying she needed me to help out with her bachelorette party, which I thought was already planned. Apparently, she wanted me to organize a last-minute surprise strip show at the party because “the entertainment fell through.” I was floored. I’m not comfortable arranging something like that, and it’s not even my responsibility.

After all this, I told her that if Tom isn’t invited and these crazy demands continue, I won’t be attending, and I also won’t be paying for anything. She exploded, accusing me of trying to ruin her wedding and being a terrible sister. Our parents are caught in the middle and think I should just go along with it to keep the peace, but I feel like I’m being completely disrespected.

WIBTAH if I stick to my decision and refuse to pay or attend the wedding if Tom isn’t invited and these demands continue?

My Dad (49M) and Mom (47F) have had an on and off marriage throughout my (29F) life. They had 3 children and married young. At some point in my adolescents they divorced for the first time, remarrying again a few years later. Fast forward approx. 8 years they divorced again. It was an ugly divorce both times. My parents do not speak to one another and can not be civil to be in the same room as one another. MY dad has gone on to remarry, and my mom is now engaged. On Tuesday my dad called me with news to share. He said that my MOMs grandma (96F) was in the hospital and that he was made power of attorney (POA) and listed in her will to receive everything and divide as deemed appropriate approx 4-5 years ago. He stated that it was not his decision but is what granny wanted. From what I understand, 4-5 years ago is when my mom and grandma got into a dispute and parted ways. A year later the dispute was settled and my mom resumed her duties of taking care of her. My great grandma (granny) is a very strong, stubborn self sufficient woman living in the middle of no where still having an out house for a restroom. My mom has taken her to the grocery store, Drs appointments ETC in the last few years. We recently learned that she is struggling with kidney failure, but has continued to not let that get her down. My dad has maintained routine visits once a month or so to check on granny to see if she needs anything etc. on Monday granny called EMS to assist her as she stated her legs weren’t working and she wanted to get checked out. She was admitted to the hospital to get checked out. She called my mom to come pick her up and let her know what was going. When my mom was on her way to pick her up, the hospital called and stated that she’s not being released and will be in the hospital for a few more days. Granny asked mom to lock up her house and make sure all the valuables were gone as to make sure know one would break in and have anything to take. On Wednesday my dad found out she was in the hospital as he asked my sister (24f) if granny was okay as his wife did not see my mom and her at Walmart (where the wife works) on their normally scheduled day and time. From there my dad informed my mom that he was her POA and sole beneficiary of everything. Of course my mom was upset after finding this out. I was an advocate for my dad through all of this as it was not him that forced himself into this position and it was what granny wanted. My dad and I spoke about all plans being made with the group (granny’s grand children and he), and that he did not care who got what as long as everyone agreed. I continued to be the mediator between all parties. On Friday my mom called to let me know that my dad had called the police on her for allegedly taking items from her home. I called my dad to see if it were true and he agreed, and I asked how he knows it was my mom and he continued to reply “because I know”. He arrived at the hospital with the officers in tow to get granny to file charges against my mom for the alleged theft. The officers located the box at My sister’s home. I told my dad if he continues to press the issue and have my mom arrested, I refuse to be a reflection of his decisions and can no longer support and advocate for him in this issue.

A couple of weeks ago I had a date with a lady I was seeing at the time, her name funny enough was Karen. She met me at a restaurant she had made reservations for. When I got to the table, there was Karen and 3 other people. Yes, I've been on double dates with her, but this was our first alone date, so I wasn't expecting anyone else. She got up and hugged me. I pulled her aside and asked what was going on. She told me some of her friends had come into town and wanted to "spend" time with her. Asked her why she hadn't told me earlier about this and said it wouldn't be an issue because I had a "fat" wallet. Yes I do make good money for what I do, but I'm not exactly going to pay for someone's meal if I don't know them. Karen gave me a kiss and bounded back to the table. I stood there for a moment then walked out of the restaurant, leaving her to her friends. Needless to say, we aren't seeing each other again.

Note: for those that have written in about asking about a separate bill. The restaurant was a pay by table place. The remarks about the fat wallet, how would you feel about a bottle of wine for $5k?

Note #2: I've had family members do the same thing to me. It's the "let's go somewhere fun" and then stick me with the bill. Just never thought it would come from someone I was interested in possibly dating.

My good friend J (39F) started dating B (37) two months ago. He told her he was divorced, and his ex wife took the kids and has been keeping them from him for over 4 years.

When she told me about him she raved how open and honest he was, told her he had a criminal past due to drug use. I met him and he was very charming. Then the second time I saw him he said some things about making a significant income and collecting Medicaid benefits still. I challenged him on that as there are income limits, but he insisted to J that there were no income limits. Weird.

Then a few days ago J text she had some news to share with both myself and out other friend L. She informed us that his children were being removed from their mother due to her being unfit, and she offered B to move in with her and her daughter. L and I express significant concern because it has been such a short term relationship and she doesn’t really know him. She listened but decided she wanted to help him.

I checked in on her the next day and asked how the kids were- well apparently he was still figuring it out and the kids were still with their mother until he moved in with J. I told her this wasn’t adding up- they don’t leave children in danger so someone can move. She just kept explaining away stuff and now I’m really concerned this guy isn’t who he said he is.

So here’s where I might be the AH. I pull all court records in the two states he told her about. This guy is still married and in active divorce proceedings- to which I saw there was a motion filed the day she called but it was not an emergency motion (I know because I went through this). Then the pages and pages of criminal charges, assault with a deadly weapon, assault drugging a victim, protection orders from women which included his own children. I decided to fess up to J, and she had an explanation for everything. She still insisted she was going to move him and the kids - and I lost it on her because this man has a pattern of targeting single mothers. None of it ends well.

So I reach out to the wife to ask her side, and her story about him is terrifying. Not saying she’s telling the truth, but it matches the court records. She tells me he has supervised visits only and hasn’t tried to see the kids. I told her what he told my friend and apparently he’s taken the kids before he moved in with one of the women. She panicked and thinks he’s going to do it again.

I tell J this and she is pissed with me for meddling in his life, and now she has to choose between her friends or him (friend L is also upset with her over how much trust she’s given him in 2 months). I told her he’s never allowed in my home ever again or around my children, she says we can still be friends but I need to remove myself from his life (no problem).

AITAH for calling his wife without telling her?

My wife(35F) and I (35M) are newly weds. We live in the same city as our families. My family is pretty much like me, have careers, are independent and really like being in their own presence.

My wife's family is the opposite, alot of free time on their hands, hates being alone, are not independent.

Well, as most families do, they like to eat out and go to restaurants (all the time). However, here is the issue. They absolutely put the burden of the bill on my wife. This has caused me to not want to ever go out with them. Nothing makes me more mad than someone inviting someone somewhere then when it comes to the bill, they don't pay (or expect my wife to pay). In many situations this has happened and the bill being $300-$600 each time.

I had a sit down with my wife and told her listen, you are being financially taken advantage of. They only want to do things with you because you are footing the bill. If you do anything with them, it always involves going to a coffee shop, shopping and etc. and you are the one always footing the bill. When have they invited you somewhere and they paid for you? Hell, on your own birthday they don't even make plans for you (whereas my wife is always doing the planning for others bdays and always footing the bill). I told her enough is enough, this isn't sustainable..

We are fortunately moving to another city a couple hours away in the next few months and our rent is going to be pretty high (aka cost of eating out and what not will be high) When she told her mom, her moms first response was " can I come visit".

I told her this routine (you paying for their bill everytime) needs to end, You cannot afford this lifestyle. You have nothing saved for your future

AITAH for trying to protect my wife financially?

Hi everyone, I (22F) work as a flight attendant for a major airline. I love my job – traveling to different places, meeting new people, and the camaraderie with my colleagues. However, an incident happened recently that has caused a lot of tension among my team, and I’m not sure if I handled it the right way.

A few weeks ago, we had a layover in Las Vegas. As you can imagine, the city can be a bit wild, and some of my colleagues decided to go out and enjoy the nightlife. I opted to stay in and rest since we had an early flight the next morning. One of my colleagues, Laura (24F), went out and partied pretty hard.

The next morning, Laura showed up at the airport visibly hungover. She looked terrible and was clearly not in any condition to work. She pulled me aside before the flight and asked if I could cover some of her duties because she wasn't feeling well. She hinted that she might even sneak into the crew rest area to sleep it off.

I was really taken aback. Our job is crucial for passenger safety, and everyone needs to be at their best. I told her that I couldn’t cover for her because it wasn’t fair to the rest of the crew or the passengers. I suggested she talk to our supervisor and be honest about her condition. Laura was furious. She said I was being unsupportive and that I should have her back like she would have mine.

During the flight, it became apparent that Laura was not able to perform her duties properly. She was sluggish, missed safety checks, and even snapped at a couple of passengers. Our supervisor noticed and had a talk with her. Laura admitted to being hungover, and she was taken off duty for the rest of the flight and reported to HR.

Since then, the atmosphere at work has been tense. Some of my colleagues think I did the right thing by not covering for her and prioritizing safety. However, others believe I was too harsh and that I should have helped her out, given that we all make mistakes.

Laura hasn’t spoken to me since and has been telling others that I’m untrustworthy and a snitch. I feel conflicted because while I believe I did the right thing, I also hate the idea of causing a rift in our team.

So, AITAH for refusing to cover for my hungover colleague on the flight?

Basically a woman who's older ( 29 afaik ) constantly kept staring and asking me for " leg training tips ". Something that never happens or almost never happens out of the blue in a gym. The 3rd encounter she started to touch my arms and rub my shoulders as I was when I was stretching, coming up behind me.

I got triggered and told her out loud " look lady, I'm don't find you attractive nor do I want you touching me, thank you". Several people saw and started staring. She said something unclear " typical men " or something along those lines and walked off.

I got told that I'm a jerk by her girlfriend and that " you don't treat women like that ". I told her friend " If I did the same to you, I would be in the back of a cop car so fuck off and cry about it ". I was pissed and triggered at this point.

I don't feel guilt whatsoever. If you like somebody, just tell them without touching first and don't pretend you want training tips when you clearly don't. Pisses me off.

I (41F) was diagnosed with IBS-D six months ago. It all started with a terrible explosive diarrhea and endless flatulence, and eventually my husband (45M) took me to a doctor. After examinations and tests, I was diagnosed with IBS-D.

My life turned into a nightmare afterwards. Pills and a diet prepared by a nutritionist was good enough, but other than that there is frequent stomachaches -especially during period- , diarrhea, flatulence and farting almost every minute... I am eating much and accordingly to my diet, so I didn't lose any weight. I am still 125 lbs. With recommended food and pills my stomach feels better sometimes, but other than that my life turned into a nightmare as I said. I have two kids (13F and 9M). Of course their life is heavily affected by my sickness, I can't do my mom duties for them and I'm not doing anything other than disgusting them.

My husband was supportive at the beginning, but after realizing he will need to bear my farts, diarrhea and other stomach problems for life I could clearly see his decreasing care for our marriage. He continued to tell he loves me. But you know, when you feel what they're thinking in their mind?

The first standoff about it was when we went to take my MIL and DIL. Kids were at school, so we took them with our SUV from their house. They were going to stay at us for dinner. The problem was, there were already some gas building up inside and my doctor told me to fart whenever it comes. But of course I couldn't let it out when they were in the vehicle. I was already very uncomfortable when we were about to arrive at our house and while trying to readjust my place on the seat for better, I accidentally farted. It was loud and yes it echoed inside the car, I was so ashamed that I didn't even turn to look at their faces. Laterly they said there is no problem, but after the ride my husband came to me and said that was not really good when his parents were with us in the SUV. I told him that it was an accident and I suffered enough trying to hold, but he cut off the conversation.

There were many other incidents like that. We were having a walk around the park nearby, when diarrhea attacked again. The park was wide and unfortunately the only public toilet there was broken -and its still broken- So as it was my last chance, I went to the bushes and pooped there. My husband was making sure noone is nearby, but I heard him gagging a few times because of my sounds. I know this is disgusting but, I literally shared a life with him for years. I won't do this to him if he was in the same situation.

The breaking point was when I tried to fart while watching a TV show with him on the couch. I am slowly getting used to IBS, and never trust a fart if you have the disease. And yes, I had an accident and pooped myself on the couch. I tried to get up and go to the toilet but it was all in my underwear and pajamas already, I don't want to give much details but it was also going down my feet on the carpet. Couch was also messed too. He literally screamed and reprimanded me, he also didn't care our kids seeing the mess I did and that's something I will never forgive. I threw away that underwear and pajamas, took a shower. He also threw away the carpet and a few days after he sold the couch for destruction. Of course maybe he was right and I was a disgusting woman, but I swear that was something out ot my control. He slept in the guest room that day and I didn't have any sleep until morning, crying all

His attitude went worse and worse. And two weeks ago he filed a divorce. We did a prenup, I never cared about his money and assets so I will never care about them in the future. We will split assets gained during the marriage 50/50. The custody of our kids is still a question mark but he said he will try to take them since I'm not capable of being a mother at this point.

I know I'm disgusting, I wouldn't like a lady walking around bloated, farting all the day and pooping diarrhea. But after a marriage of 15 years, being a housewife and caring for them all, always approach him with proper love... I don't think this is the 'thank you' I deserve. He may be disgusted but why judge me? I wouldn't do that to him if he was the sick one. It's something out of my control and it found me. And now, the only thing I want is taking custody of my son and my daughter.

I will probably move back to my parents, with my son and daughter. My son is always supportive and he daily tells me he loves me no matter what. However my daughter is generally disgusted of the situation just like her dad, and she is a bit right about it. I will try to establish a new life at my parent's house.

Been married for 40 years. I love to travel, my husband does not. His idea of a vacation is camping or going fishing. I was able to get him ti Hawaii but he complained about the long plane ride. Got him to go to Mexico but he got sick.
I have an opportunity to go to Europe with my daughter and her family for airfare only. I desperately want to to go but he is fighting me, saying married couples should not go on separate vacations, that I shouldn’t travel alone (I would meet up with them there) along with various other dumb reasons I shouldn’t go. I’m in my 60s and feel like I’m not going to get many chances. Is he being unreasonable or am I being selfish?

I (23F) have been working at a local zoo for the past two years. I’ve always loved animals and was thrilled to get this job. My responsibilities include feeding, cleaning, and providing enrichment for the animals. It’s a demanding but incredibly rewarding job.

Recently, a new coworker, Mike (27M), joined our team. At first, he seemed enthusiastic and eager to learn, but I soon noticed that he was quite careless with his duties. He often forgot to lock enclosures properly, left food out that could attract pests, and didn’t follow the proper protocols for handling the animals.

I tried to gently remind him of the importance of these tasks, but he brushed me off, saying that I was overreacting and that the animals would be fine. I reported my concerns to our supervisor, who had a talk with Mike. For a while, things improved, but then Mike started making sarcastic comments about me being a “tattle-tale” and “paranoid.”

Last week, I witnessed something that crossed the line. Mike was supposed to feed the big cats, but instead of following the safety procedures, he decided to take a shortcut and tossed the meat over the enclosure fence. This not only posed a risk of injury to the cats but also encouraged aggressive behavior. I confronted him about it, and he laughed it off, saying that I was being dramatic.

Fearing for the safety of the animals and my own job, I went to our supervisor again and reported the incident. This time, they took it very seriously and launched an investigation. Mike was suspended pending the outcome.

Now, some of my coworkers are upset with me, saying that I went too far and that I should have given Mike another chance. They argue that he was still new and needed time to adjust. They think I acted out of spite because of his comments about me being a tattle-tale. On the other hand, a few colleagues support my decision and agree that Mike’s behavior was dangerous and unprofessional.

I’m starting to feel guilty and wonder if I should have handled the situation differently. Maybe I should have tried to mentor him more instead of going straight to our supervisor.

AITA for reporting my coworker for endangering the animals at the zoo?

A lot of background info:

My wife and I have 4 kids, 2 daughters and 2 sons, they’re all close in age. We both wanted a large family, my wife believed it would be great for our kids to have siblings so they didn’t grow up alone and so they could go to school with people they knew, and pretty much so they had family for support

However, our kids aren’t all that close to each other. My daughters are very close, but only my youngest daughter is close with my oldest son while my oldest son and daughter have a good relationship but they don’t have many conversations with one another. Then theres our youngest son who isn’t close to any of his siblings

When he was younger he did talk and play with them more but now he usually just talks to them when he has to.

This isn’t worrying to me, I mostly work from home and haven’t heard arguing or noticed anything like bullying or my youngest being excluded. I don’t think theres anything wrong, just that my son doesn’t care much to bridge the gap between him and his siblings and it’s not like my wife and I can enforce it.

My wife thinks differently though and thinks that during the summer we should do more family events to bridge the gap between our kids. I’m not opposed to the idea, but It’s not like we can force our kids to take part in it and if they do, we can’t force a relationship.

We talked about it with our the son the other day, and he just says he doesn’t have much in common with his siblings and that he doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

Now the issue starts with the fact that I told my son he doesn’t need to have a relationship with his siblings as long as he doesn’t feel entitled to it in the future. My wife doesn’t agree with it however and once we were done talking to my son she says my way of thinking is wrong because it’s important for family to be close to one another

I don’t think it’s a major issue, but it means a lot to my wife so i’m looking for an outsider’s perspective. Was it wrong for me to say that my doesn’t need to build a relationship with his siblings?

I 28M and my Wife 29F were recently visited Cambodia. I booked the trip for our 4th wedding anniversary.

On our last day there we decided to visit a genocide prison in Phnom Penh called S21.

We were warned by our tour guide that the place wasn’t for the faint of heart. The prison was used by the Khmer Rouge to massacre thousands of innocent civilians who were deemed as “too smart / intellectual” during the rule of Pol Pot.

I remember seeing torture chambers where they would beat people to death with chains. They didn’t hide any of the brutality. The pictures on the walls literally looked like something straight out of live leak.

In one of the prison cells there, there was literally dried up blood on the floor from presumably the captive held there all those years ago.

I remember walking past a tree dubbed the killing tree. They took kids as young as three years old and would bash their heads into it until they died.

Upon reading that I literally just started sobbing. I was visualising everything in my head and I just felt for the kids who had to watch their siblings / friends get massacred in front of them.

My wife saw me crying and instead of comforting me just gave me this weird look. After a while she did come hug me and asked if something was wrong. I just pointed to the exit and we left after that. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

While in our taxi she asked me if I was seriously crying. I just nodded and kept quiet. I was still pretty shaken up by the things I just read/saw.

That was last week and there has been this weird tension between us ever since. She tries to pick fights with me for no reason and just seems dismissive/disrespectful for no reason. A few days ago I came home exhausted from work and she asked me if I could do the laundry that day. I told her that I’d do it tomorrow and just wanted to relax for a bit. She then got mad and told me that she didn’t know she was marrying a woman and then stormed off. She has never acted like this before our trip.

I lost it yesterday night after she tried to pick another fight with me and confronted her about her behaviour over the past week. I asked her if all of this had to do with me crying. She tried denying it at first but after a while she just went silent for a few moments and then started nodding while keeping her head down. I asked her why and she just claimed that “humanity has done worse in the past” and she just feels weird about me crying over kids who have nothing to do with me. She also told me that she isn’t a therapist and she felt uncomfortable and was disappointed in me for shedding tears over something that happens all the time.

She saw me getting mad at her comments and tried backpedaling and apologising but I just couldn’t take it anymore and just went to bed in our guest room.

This was literally the second time she has ever seen me cry. First was when my best friend lost his life to a drunk driver.

To the men out there, have you experienced anything similar with your SO?

I’m just sort of lost for words. I can’t make sense of anything right now.

I don’t know who I can confide in with this so that’s why I’m posting here.

I just need a place to vent.

I’m seriously considering divorce but my brother claims that I should have known better and shouldn’t have let her see me like that. If I divorce her without trying couples counselling, I’m most definitely an asshole.

Could I have done something better to make her feel less uncomfortable?

How would you guys move forward in this situation?

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This happened 2 years ago. Just wanted to know if I am at fault. I think my therapist wanted me to ask her more questions about her to develop rapport. I said I didn't want to know anything about her personal life. She then proceeded to cry. I then elaborated by saying I respect your privacy and personal life, and if I know too much about you then I might think we are friends. This has happened in the past and I was trying to prevent it from happening again. In my opinion, I think I was setting a healthy boundary.