r/lotrmemes • u/CatsyGreen • 14d ago
Eowyn finally managed to convince Aragorn Lord of the Rings
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u/JSCarguy454 14d ago
Cheering on Aragorn
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u/Capable_Hamster_4597 14d ago
"Small village cuckolds watching their liege take his right of the first night, consummating the marriage between Faramir and Eowyn."
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u/ozymandais13 14d ago
Faramir waiting his turn
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u/TomGobra 13d ago
Faramir waiting for a chance to show his quality.
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u/penguinpolitician 13d ago
I'll show you my quality
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u/Current_Silver_5416 14d ago
Give it to her raw and wriggling. Like her stew.
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u/321Scavenger123 14d ago
I hate this... so go eat her stew.
...
It's on repeat in my mind.
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u/kanashiirobotto 13d ago
Would Gollum like her stew?
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u/gollum_botses 13d ago
Smeagol? No, no, not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty Elf bread!
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u/kanashiirobotto 13d ago
It's OK Smeagol, you don't need have the bread with your stew
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u/gollum_botses 13d ago
Smeagol? No, no, Not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty elf bread.Ach! No! You try to choke poor Smeagol. Dust and ashes, he can't eat that. He must starve. But Smeagol doesn't mind.Nice hobbits! Smeagol has promised. He will starve. He can't eat hobbits' food. He will starve. Poor thin Smeagol!
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u/Satanic_Earmuff 14d ago
This girl grew up riding horseback, you'd be insane to turn this down.
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u/shaggyscoob 14d ago
Horse girls are hot. But crazy. Everyone knows that.
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u/Soviet_Ski 14d ago
One does not simply put their dick in crazy.
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u/jellajellyfish 14d ago
Not with 10,000 sperm could you do this. It is folly
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u/ThatUJohnWayne74 14d ago
Then I shall cum as one of them!
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u/Axel_Farhunter 14d ago
We are proud to cum alongside men once more
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u/jellajellyfish 14d ago
Let this be the hour when we skeet ropes together!
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u/Axel_Farhunter 14d ago
Theoden King cums alone
Not alone
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u/I_do_drugs-yo 14d ago
Arwen has 2,000 of years of horse back riding experience tho.
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u/thefinalcutdown 14d ago
She is the faster rider…
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u/Fufflin 13d ago
If I remember correctly she "rides hard"
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u/P1mpathinor 14d ago
Bold move to try and compete with the granddaughter of Teleporno in that regard.
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u/Wolfie_wolf81 14d ago
The last panel caught me by surprise 🤣
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u/YellowLanternAdam 14d ago
Yeah, the "It's bullshit, we made it up." is great
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u/Singer_on_the_Wall 14d ago
If anyone knows about anything tantric it’s the House of Finarfin.
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u/RoutemasterFlash 14d ago
Nah, that'd be Feänor, surely?
Oh, hang on, that's tantrums, not tantra...
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u/cooleydw494 14d ago
Thanks internet for combining dad jokes with (relatively) obscure Tolkien lore
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u/aaron_adams Dúnedain 14d ago
From a political standpoint, Eowyn would have been the better choice. And if, God's forbid, an ever so unfortunate accident would befall Eomar, and he died childless, as his closest living relative would be Eowyn, that would give Aragorn claim to both Rohan and Gondor, essentially making him damn near king of the entire west and commander of the largest and most powerful military in middle-earth history. Just a thought.
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u/A_devout_monarchist Théoden 14d ago
On the other hand, imagine how much your dynasty can appeal to divine right when your children are descended from Thingol, she's the granddaughter of Earendil and also related to Galadriel.
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u/DrFealgoud 14d ago
Elf pussy is supposed to be top shelf, tho…
Although Eowyn sho NUFF throw off that crazy pooty-tang vibe…crazy pooty-tang is goooooood pooty-tang
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u/aaron_adams Dúnedain 14d ago
They say, "Don't put your dick in crazy," but in my experience, crazy is so good that there's about a 50% chance that it's worth it. And you're right, Eowyn would definitely have been a wild ride, and she'd give you a night you'd never forget.
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u/Singer_on_the_Wall 13d ago
Absolutely not. Rohan loses its identity by assimilating into Gondor.
Arwen is of significantly higher status just by virtue of being Noldor. Having children with her creates a royal line of elf-blooded, natural-born badasses that the people of Gondor will associate with kingship for centuries. Eldarion will succeed his father in terms of both physical talent and magical potency.
Marrying the horse-girl instead of an elf would be the ultimate missed opportunity.
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u/camander321 13d ago
Yeah but Aragorn barely wanted to be king of just Gondor
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u/aaron_adams Dúnedain 13d ago
"Boromir would have become king of Gondor and Rohan!" - Denathor, probably.
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u/great_red_dragon 14d ago
Aragorn immediately considers seeking the lost tomes of Mart’ha Stew’art.
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u/stacy_owl Elrond is severely underrated 14d ago edited 14d ago
ok I actually looked up the word “trantric” in the dictionary and couldn’t find anything, can anyone help? 😅
(edit: not a native speaker)
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u/Tvorba-Mysle 14d ago
Pretty sure it’s meant to be tantric, but I haven’t looked it up
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u/BrilliantDoubting 14d ago
Tantra is a subset of two indian religions, namely Buddhism and "Hinduism".
It is often associated with ritual sex, which is surely part of it, but certainly not the whole of it.
I'm still about to find a exact definition of the term. The best one i have found by now, is that a Tantrika (one who practices Tantra) is someone who is his own master, meaning not bound to any specific set of religious and spiritual rules.
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u/Malicious_Sauropod 14d ago
What the other guy said, it’s meant to be “tantric”. It means from the Indian practice of “Tantra”, usually meaning a form of esoteric yoga.
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u/DiaphanousPhoenician 13d ago
“It’s bullshit, we made it up” is the best thing I’ve read all day xD
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u/Commercial_Sir_9678 14d ago
Every scene of Eowyn hitting on Aragorn is followed by Arwen reaching out to him in his sleep.