r/nottheonion • u/AaronDotCom • 13d ago
Is Commander next? Kristi Noem suggests Biden’s troubled dog should be killed just like 'Cricket'
https://www.hindustantimes.com/world-news/us-news/is-commander-next-kristi-noem-suggests-biden-s-troubled-dog-should-be-killed-just-like-cricket-101714929187833.html3.9k
u/PickleBoy223 13d ago
So she’s making “kill dogs” a campaign platform? At some point you have to wonder if she’s just trying to kill her career
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u/restore_democracy 13d ago
Now Republicans will be all about killing their dogs to demonstrate their fealty. Anyone who doesn’t kill their dogs clearly is a RINO and not a true believer.
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u/Pixilatedlemon 13d ago
This is what I’m wondering. Will all the trumpists try to ignore this or will they all brag about how they are all about killing dogs? Because condemning it is off the table for them
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u/restore_democracy 13d ago
They have no problem sacrificing their parents to covid and their children to other preventable diseases just to demonstrate their commitment. They’ll be lining up at shelters to adopt as many dogs as they can just extinguish them and post the videos on “Truth” (sic) Social for the adulation.
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u/Agitates 12d ago
I have to agree with you because every time I've had the thought, "They wouldn't stoop that low would they?" they have.
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u/Maxamillion-X72 12d ago
I mean, there are Trump branded shirts that say "Real men wear diapers". Nothing in MAGA world is off limits to showing your loyalty.
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u/Sir_Poopenstein 13d ago
They're already wearing diapers because dear leader is incontinent.
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u/watchingsongsDL 12d ago
Real men shit their pants!
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u/ProjectManagerAMA 12d ago
I still can't tell if that photoshoot was real or not. I'm leaning on real but damn, that just doesn't make any sense at all.
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u/oripash 13d ago edited 13d ago
In all honesty this sounds like a manufactured exercise in selling outrage.
Russian/Chinese/Iranian disinformation ops aim for exactly this. Manufacturing outrage and selling populism they can then help steer, both to the people who jump on her bandwagon and to people who get shat off by it.
I suspect something of this variety may be the lever motivating her.
I’ll just quietly leave this here.
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u/YoungXanto 13d ago
I suspect something of this variety may be the lever motivating her
She bragged about killing a puppy she couldn't train. She's not that fucking smart.
Sometimes people are just dumb pieces of shit with their heads so far up their own asses that they truly believe everyone thinks exactly like they do. And when they get outside their bubble, they are shocked that other people disagree with their thoughts and words. But they always think that it's everyone else that is wrong.
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u/dpdxguy 13d ago edited 12d ago
She bragged about killing a puppy she couldn't train. She's not that fucking smart
It was an idiotic idea to put that story in a book she was going to publish. Worse, she keeps doubling down. But it's clear from the way she tells the story that she doesn't understand why it's gone bad for her.
Among rural folks, particularly those who raise livestock, you often hear that city folk don't understand that farm animals are not pets, and that sometimes you have do something unpleasant for the greater good of the farm. It's often couched in terms of "making hard choices."
"Making a hard choice" is exactly the phrase Noam keeps using. She thinks she's projecting that she had to do something unpleasant and that doing it shows she won't shrink from unpleasant tasks.
What she obviously does not understand is that when one is faced with a hard choice, it's important to make the right choice too; that it's good to make the right but unpleasant choice rather than the easier, wrong choice.
She chose to kill a 14 month old dog because, she said, it was untrainable. But she doesn't seem to understand that the training of the dog was HER RESPONSIBILITY, and that her failure led to the dog's death at her hands!
Later in the story she says she also killed a goat because it headbutted her children and smelled bad. Again, she doesn't seem to realize that she's undermining her image as a rural person by thinking that normal goat behavior and odor is a reason to kill the animal. Worse, for her, she's illustrating that she finds killing animals for no good reason to be the easy choice for her.
She wants to justify her actions by saying she made a "hard choice." But the story really shows nearly everyone that she made a wrong choice. Twice.
Finally, her story also shows that she was driven to kill by emotion rather than by the need to make a hard choice. She says she hated the dog and couldn't stand the smell of the goat. Claiming those animals were dangerous is her way of saying that she had to do what she wanted to do.
With this one story she shows that she is entirety unsuited for executive office
EDIT: I saw a news story this morning that says her publisher will be removing her claim of having met Kim Un Jong from digital editions of Noem's book, and from future printings. Notably, the news story does not say the puppy and goat killing incidents will be similarly removed. The saga continues.
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u/averaenhentai 12d ago
Finally, her story also shows that she was driven to kill by emotion rather than by the need to make a hard choice. She says she hated the dog and couldn't stand the smell of the goat. Claiming those animals were dangerous is her way of saying that she had to do what she wanted to do.
She, and the people that like her, are fascists. Killing things they think are disgusting is exactly what they want.
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u/dpdxguy 12d ago
Well yes. And although she'd probably recoil from the thought, there's a good chance that she's clinically a psychopath.
Her complete lack of empathy as she tells and defends the story, is an indicator of psychopathy. That lack of empathy is also a hallmark of fascism. It's not so much that they want to kill things. It's more that they have no qualms about killing to achieve whatever goal the killing will further.
Because most people are not psychopaths, the story doesn't sit well even with her constituency.
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u/brecheisen37 12d ago edited 12d ago
Most people aren't psychopaths, which is why fascists can't just rely on psychopaths in their ranks. They use art, philosophy, and propaganda to manipulate average people into becoming fascists too. Fascism is a sociological phenomenon, it can't be understood through the lense of a psychological disorder. The connection between fascism and mental health is complex, and it can't be understood divorced from historical and material context.
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13d ago edited 12d ago
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u/YoungXanto 13d ago
All of them are less stupid than they present
For Boebert and MTG, I highly doubt it.
They elicit emotional responses because they are literally the target of the outrage, spewing their own emotional response. Just like Trump. He's a fucking moron that buys his own bullshit.
Yeah, there are certainly machiavellian actors in the GOP capable of what you're describing. Kind of a lot of them. But there are also an increasing number of imbeciles who happened to be in the right time and place to manipulate media through their own outrage on their particular platform.
That one chick that runs the endwokeness account (or maybe it's a different one, I choose not to give brain space to that) has lower than room temperature IQ. That one recent car crash of an interview demonstrated it. But she still farms outrage- not because it's calculated but because she's a true believer with a platform.
Frankenstein has lost control of his monster. Bragging about killing a puppy and then doubling down on it should be a pretty big clue.
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u/ZachMN 13d ago
“Selling outrage” is the entire platform of the Republican Party.
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u/MrCleanCanFixAnythng 13d ago
Wow she just loves shooting dogs. It’s great to see someone find their passion
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u/WalkingTurtleMan 13d ago
Some people saw KFC’s double down in 2010 and decided to make it their own personality
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u/dictatorenergy 13d ago
It’s not very often I curse Reddit for taking away awards but god damn today’s the day. What an A+ comment, my friend.
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u/big_duo3674 13d ago
I thought I wouldn't miss rewards at all but these days I definitely do on occasion
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u/Competitive_Fee_5829 13d ago
was that the sandwich with chicken as "buns"? lol
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u/SenorBeef 13d ago
It works for Trump. He's doubled down thousands of times now and it turns out his cultists are such shitty human beings that they'd rather keep doubling down when he does something more evil than they defended the last time rather than admit they were wrong to support the earlier evils.
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u/benargee 13d ago
She's here to shoot dogs and chew bubble gum and she's all out of bubble gum.
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u/Twister_Robotics 13d ago
Except she works for THEM, not fighting against like good old Roddy
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u/NegaDeath 13d ago
Old Yeller is her favorite movie, but mostly just for one scene.
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u/King-Cobra-668 13d ago
She's got the police Union votes
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u/ProfessorWednesday 13d ago
She's not campaigning votes, she's campaigning for instatement
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u/I_am_u_as_r_me 13d ago
Animal cruelty is a huge sign of sociopathy. She shows other signs too. Disgusting human being
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u/Decent-Writing-9840 13d ago
This woman is a complete psychopath. I would bet if anyone took a look they could probably find some insane shit on her.
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u/Nebuli2 13d ago
If murdering puppies is something she brags about, then it really makes you wonder what she keeps secret...
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u/Svihelen 13d ago
Don't forget killing the goat she chose not to neuter when he got cranky and smelly which is caused by not neutering him. And she fucked the first shot up and needed more than one.
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u/KangarooWrangler2024 13d ago
Billygoats are smelly and butt things if you don’t know this and live on a farm you are an idiot. Also the dog and goat would have likely been taken by others in a heartbeat! She raged out and shot them out of vengeance, no other explanation fits.
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u/Throw-a-Ru 13d ago
They pee into their own beards on purpose. It is pretty revolting, and if you're not comfortable with that fact, you shouldn't own one. The barest amount of research would have let her know that male goats are not for her, and a similarly small amount of effort could have rehomed it.
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u/KangarooWrangler2024 13d ago
Goats are good for milk, soap for sensitive skin, fur, meat, companions for other farm animals, petting zoos, clearing land of noxious weeds. Even if he was an old really jerky, smelly thing he had value to someone. Unfixed Billies are smelly asshats but you know this and adjust, castrate or rehome. You don’t shoot it and dump it in a rock pit! She’s a massive dweeb
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u/redlaWw 12d ago
Goats are good for milk
Hate to break it to you, but you aren't getting much milk out of a billy. And the stuff you do get is gonna taste funny.
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u/DuntadaMan 13d ago
Their boos mean nothing, we have now seen what makes them cheer.
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u/LazyLich 13d ago
There's a planned parenthood joke in there somewhere...
Something about loving people having kids, but hating the actual people and hating the actual kids.
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u/ducketts 13d ago
The goat is almost worse. The goat is going after your children? Why are your children around the goat like that?
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u/dmetzcher 13d ago
This. Let’s look at what she’s done in just two short weeks (has it even been that long?)…
Bragged about shooting a puppy (for acting like a puppy) in her book. Thought it made her seem tough and capable of making hard decisions. She also mentioned a goat that she shot because… it acted like a goat on a farm. If the goat was dirty and “rancid,” as she claims, I have to wonder if she’s capable of caring for any animals because it was her goat.
Doubled down when people—on both sides of the political divide, including Donald Trump himself—recoiled in horror. Couldn’t understand why everyone was disgusted. Continued to appear on TV. Continued to defend herself.
Tripled down earlier this week. Still couldn’t grasp why everyone thinks she’s abnormal. At this point, everyone is saying, “No, Kristi, we totally understand why you think it was justified, but we still think you’re a fucking psychopath.” Her responses had thus far amounted to, “No, but, you really don’t get it.” We get it, Kristi.
Quadrupled down this weekend. Threatened the President’s dog with the same fate her own puppy (and that poor goat) suffered at her hands. Attempted to distract from her own incident with whataboutism and by… drawing attention to her own behavior again because she just can’t resist an opportunity to really explain it to us.
She doesn’t get it because her brain is defective. She doesn’t understand normal, human emotion. Empathy isn’t something she’s familiar with. She has no attachments to companion animals like normal people naturally do. She’s the sort of person who should be studied by people in white coats, not the sort who should be running a government.
Her career is toast. She’s fucked forever. I hope her farm can sustain her family, but I doubt it if she’s going to keep shooting the animals.
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u/Avalanche2500 13d ago
Her career is toast.
I'd like to believe this, but that uglier and stupider peroxide blonde from Georgia advocates loudly that children should be murdered by Jewish Space Lasers if caught crossing the southern border. No investigation, no trial, just murder. Her constituents agree. I don't think the puppy-killer will lose any votes.
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u/soupfountain 13d ago
"I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at animal cruelty" was such a hit because it so accurately encapsulates how many bigots work. Savitri Devi (white French woman who appropriated Hindu culture to further the Aryan myth/ turn Nazism into a quasireligious movement) was an animal rights activist; Hitler himself cried after killing his dog; etc etc.
Much lighter anecdote- a mildly remorseful (but mostly just embarrassed) former Trump voter I knew is a vegetarian, and she was angry about his policies that hurt migratory birds before later disapproving of how he treated Muslims. So yeah, some on the right are bloodthirsty enough to excuse Noem, but most people have a soft spot for animals (or at least cute ones), because everyone wants moments to feel kind, even if they're not.
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u/dpdxguy 12d ago
it so accurately encapsulates how many bigots work
Because even bigots have empathy for animals. Their bigotry is enabled by lack of empathy for the members of whatever group they're prejudiced against.
Notably a lack of empathy, say, for the animals in your charge, is an indicator of psychopathy.
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u/Psalmbodyoncetoldme 12d ago
Savitri Devi (white French woman who appropriated Hindu culture to further the Aryan myth/ turn Nazism into a quasireligious movement) was an animal rights activist
You watched the latest Behind the Bastards episode?
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u/Auzzie_almighty 12d ago
Honestly, I know quite a few racist hicks that would very literally rather kill a man than let one of their dogs come to harm.
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u/my600catlife 12d ago
I remember having a discussion in one of my college writing classes about how you never have the protagonist kill a dog because it makes them irredeemable. People will excuse a protagonist who murders, rapes, drops a bomb on a school bus, but not killing a dog.
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u/GTSBurner 13d ago
You're also forgetting that she is blaming the media for the words that she put in her own book.
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u/FlameStaag 13d ago
Her yard probably has more animal bones than a pet cemetery
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u/Gregzilla311 13d ago
I mean… we’ve long surpassed the Tyson Zone.
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u/memecrusader_ 13d ago
Tyson Zone?
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u/hoopaholik91 13d ago
It's when a celebrity starts acting so crazy, you can hear literally any story about them and not be surprised.
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u/mistertickertape 13d ago
She has completely lost the fucking plot. Even donald trump, arguably the standard bearer for the dumpster fire portion of our populace, has said he thinks she disturbed and pretty nuts and that was before she said this today. The ship has said for her being his vp pick, she can't really run for congress, and she's about to release a book that's probably going to crash and burn.
Is she just REALLY bad at this, is she just completely psychotic, is she both?
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u/Salty_Interview_5311 13d ago
Possibly. She may also still be auditioning for the role of VP pick. She’s certainly trolling like he does to stay in the news at least five days a week.
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u/hurtsdonut_ 13d ago
Yeah but she pissed off a lot of conservatives too. She must not have realized they also love dogs.
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u/gsfgf 13d ago
Her mistake was telling people it was a pointer. If she said it was a pit, she'd be queen of Fox News for the week.
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u/r_bogie 13d ago
Don't be surprised if she still gets the nod.
She's got the never apologize / never admit you're wrong thing down pat.
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u/fasolatido24 13d ago
She’s desperate. She’s aging out and has nothing else going for her. This is her final Hail Mary.
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u/jockeyman 13d ago
When you're so desperate to stand out you make 'dog killing' your entire platform.
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u/LurkmasterP 13d ago
To be fair, I think the platform appealing to to far right may be "to be strong you must exterminate anything not useful to you."
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u/nonlawyer 13d ago
I know Trump has shown that “always double down no matter what” can be a viable strategy but “yes I like killing dogs and in fact, I’d like to kill more dogs” seems to really push that to the breaking point
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u/ThePhantom71319 13d ago
“I want to kill more dogs. I want to kill the president’s dog”
Next thing you know she’ll be endorsing PETA’s shelters
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u/PubliclyPoops 13d ago
Every time someone describes American politics as “pushing it”, there seems to be a politician who sees that and doubles down
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u/gigglegenius 13d ago
what is wrong with people. US politics took such a nosedive in decency and quality since trump
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u/HoSang66er 13d ago
Trump winning proved to some people that being a piece of shit isn’t a negative.
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u/PigSlam 13d ago
One man’s shit is another man’s fertilizer.
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u/melithium 13d ago
That’s offensive to useful fertilizer!
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u/Hellknightx 12d ago
I can't imagine Donald Trump's shits have anything resembling nutrients in them.
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u/tuskvarner 13d ago
"You'd rather live in shit than let the world see you work a shovel"
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u/GovernmentEvening815 13d ago
I mean you’re not wrong. People in the cult are very open about the horrid shit that runs through their brains, assuming that it runs through everyone else’s brains. And even if it doesn’t, if only 2 or 3 people agree with them they are emboldened and then they all finger-pop each others assholes as they get off to their orange messiah that allowed them to have this blessed circle-jerk
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u/mistertickertape 13d ago
I think it actually goes back to Obama winning that made people that were subtly racist mad and trump winning that made people that were subtly racist feel like that didn't need to be so subtle anymore. Add the pandemic and a good chunk of older, isolated people that live in a bubble of conservative AM talk radio, conservative cable news, and conservative internet media, you get a whole generation of people (and then some) that have thrown decency and respect out the window.
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u/restore_democracy 13d ago
A lot of people relate to it, apparently. They’re pieces of shit themselves so they found someone who embodies their ideal as the ultimate piece of shit. That’s the only thing that explains his support.
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u/yeknom02 13d ago
For me, I noticed once McCain chose Palin as a running mate.
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13d ago
In retrospect, this was really the canary in the coal mine. After that the Republican Party just fell off a cliff.
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u/cantadmittoposting 13d ago
this has been building since reagan, but if yall think Palin was the canary, you missed Norquist's tax pledge and for that matter most of what Gingrich did
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u/MutationIsMagic 13d ago
Those dudes were still half-way pretending to be normal. Palin's like a villain from the 60s Batman show.
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u/thWhiteRabbit 13d ago
It was such a bizarre choice. The entire reasoning they were building vs Obama was he was under qualified. Then they pick Palin as a VP, who was easily seen by the media as horrendously under qualified.
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u/eidsonator 13d ago
I was going to vote McClain until he picked her. Haven't voted R since.
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u/csonnich 13d ago
I've never been on the right, but I seriously considered McCain. Then he picked Palin, and I woke up.
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u/Corey307 13d ago
Norm said something stupid and did an evil thing. She’s doubling down cause there’s no walking it back.
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u/shrlytmpl 13d ago
It began with the "tea party" after Obama won. Republicans lost their shit seeing a black man in office and went full mask off.
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u/Nachooolo 13d ago
The birther movement, which Trump was basically the leader, is also the point where the American right fully embraced conspiracy theory as an important part of their ideology.
Although the election denial and QAnon made it an integral part of their ideology.
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u/AlexandriaLitehouse 13d ago
What happened to the Tea Party? You never hear about them anymore. I miss Jon Stewart calling them tea baggers.
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u/burkiniwax 13d ago
Rebranded as MAGA. Same astroturf fantasy.
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u/quarterburn 13d ago
Same thing happened with the flat earthers. When people are stunned at the high percentage of MAGA it’s because they all the smooth brained crazies consolidated into a gigantic pile of shit.
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u/black641 13d ago edited 13d ago
It's been coming for a long time, but Trump really was the igniting force behind all of this. The GOP has been "subtle" about its goals and debasements for decades. Arguably, it started with Barry Goldwater, and was further developed under Reagan and post-9/11 geopolitics. Trump just gave them the confidence to be honest about what they really want.
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13d ago
The cruelty is the point. As Covid made clear, a lot of Republicans genuinely cannot comprehend caring about others.
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u/time_drifter 13d ago
It’s always been there, it’s just been kept in check by leaders with decency. Along comes Trump with his rape, affairs, tax fraud, make-up and lifts. Suddenly it’s okay to be complete pieces of shit because the head clown is. That is how ended up where we are.
The evangelicals, far right, and south have always been this awful.
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u/geekphreak 13d ago
The extreme right is all about this now. Double down. Triple down. No room for self reflection. No room for growth. Stick your fingers in your ears and go la-la-la-la-la-la
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u/ThatScaryBeach 13d ago
Sociopaths like Kristi Noem lack the ability to self reflect. They lack empathy so they can't possibly understand how others could think they are wrong. To them, everybody else is wrong and if they keep repeating their terrible justifications, eventually they'll convince the public.
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u/Throwaway56138 13d ago
The
extremeright is all about this now. Double down. Triple down. No room for self reflection. No room for growth. Stick your fingers in your ears and go la-la-la-la-la-la→ More replies (1)8
u/DisturbedRanga 13d ago
Compared to other western countries Americas right is extreme.
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u/Flamingo83 13d ago
She’s coming for everyone’s dog, hide your dogs!
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u/Fluffy_Two5110 13d ago
Hide your dogs, hide your goats, and hide your horses cuz she killing everybody out there.
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u/LandosMustache 13d ago
My favorite comment:
When the only tool you have is a gun, every problem looks like a puppy
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u/HoSang66er 13d ago
Steel cage match, no weapons, Noem vs Commander.
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u/Neither_Upstairs_872 13d ago
Commander has a history of biting the shit out of people, he might take that one ☝️
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u/Matt7738 13d ago
I trust dogs a hell of a lot more than I trust cops. If Commander is biting cops, I’m siding with the dog.
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u/Misha220 13d ago
She is talking about Major. He had behaviour issues. Bit several (two I think) SS Agents, and WH staff He was moved to the Delaware home and eventually rehomed. Commander is their 3rd German Shepard.
Edit I am in no way saying Major should be shot. That woman is insane.
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u/PickledPizzle 13d ago
Some dogs just don't do well with the chaos of dozens, if not hundreds, of strangers coming and going through their space/home every day. It's sad if a dog needs to be rehomed, but not every dog will do well in every environment.
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u/Misha220 13d ago
This is what The Bidens ultimately said when they rehomed and got Commander. Major did not adapt to WH living even after being sent for training. Champ had already died.
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u/deathandglitter 13d ago
Exactly this. I have a German shepard and he would have an awful time in that kind of environment. He's protective of his space and his people, I can absolutely see how Bidens pup didn't do well in that kind of environment
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u/AnnamAvis 13d ago
She is talking about Commander by name in her book. She's so excited to threaten dogs, she doesn't care if she gets the "right" one.
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u/Musetrigger 13d ago
MAGAs all over gonna start chanting. "Kill Joe's Dog
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u/Hot_Shot04 13d ago
"I murdered my dog. :) "
"You can't murder dogs!"
"Oh. What about liberal dogs?"
[maga murmurs of reconsideration]
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u/ceebeefour 13d ago
Wow, they made the move to literal puppy killers y'all. They'll say people next, mark my words.
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u/djaybakker 13d ago
Five years ago we probably could’ve joked that “the GOP could be killing puppies and they’d still vote for them…” oh how far we’ve fallen
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u/BloatedManball 13d ago
It's been almost a decade since Trump bragged that he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose any votes. I'm honestly surprised it took this long for them to move on to actually killing animals and bragging about it.
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u/CurveOfTheUniverse 12d ago
almost a decade
Holy fuck, you’re right. It just feels like we’ve been stuck in 2016 for the last 8 years.
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u/CunningWizard 13d ago
Has this woman ever met a dog she doesn’t want to shoot? Jesus.
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u/pdawg37 13d ago
I watched “Face the Nation” this morning and I felt bad for South Dakota voting base. Shes a complete and total idiot. Can’t/Won’t answer a single question and just brags or lies in a time where people are struggling to put food on tables. Completely out of touch.
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u/seigezunt 13d ago
Biden’s dog was biting Secret Service agents still loyal to Trump.
Good boy.
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u/TheoremaEgregium 13d ago
That's one of the oddest whataboutisms I've ever seen.
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u/HoopOnPoop 13d ago
Interesting strategy to make killing dogs her #1 political position.
Someone needs to hire the Baja Men to play across the street from her next rally.
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u/Popular-Cat-3436 13d ago
Now I'm wondering about the 3 horses that 'had to be put down' shortly before the puppy and goat murders.
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u/GovernmentEvening815 13d ago
Man, if we shot everyone and everything that didn’t give us the warm & fuzzy feeling, there would be a lot of dead GOP
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u/suplexdolphin 13d ago
People are gonna be taking that shooting range scene from Atlanta and just have a field day.
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u/GODDAMNFOOL 13d ago
I am so sick of hearing about this person. Can we please stop making people like this famous?
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u/ICE3MAN04 13d ago
She’s doubling down cause she shot a dog in the face and then went and goat the goat she hated tried to shot it missed and had to go to her truck for a second shell. She’s a POS!
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u/OozeNAahz 13d ago
Starting to think I am inadvertently a prophet. Bout a month back on Reddit I said that if Democrats came at as pro dogs the right would immediately become anti puppy. This bitch is actually trying to make killing a dog as a good thing.
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u/TheHindenburgBaby 13d ago
Y'know Patches, the thing about a Governor, they've got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When they comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'...until she shoots ya.
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u/[deleted] 13d ago
Being the pro killing dogs candidate is bold strategy. Let’s see if it pays off.