r/NoStupidQuestions • u/IdeaExpensive3073 • 27d ago

How is it women notice men checking them out but I’ve never noticed women doing it to men, and especially me?

Note: I’ve been told that they were checking me out before, so I know it’s happening.

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u/sparklecadet 27d ago

12 was when grown men, like construction men, would smile at me and make comments at me. This was my experience, as well as the experience of almost every other woman I know who grew up in NYC. Maybe NYC is unique in this respect, but sadly, I doubt it.

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u/ArchieBrooksIsntDead 27d ago

It's definitely not unique. One of the things I think men in general don't understand is that when women are talking about scary unwelcome attention at a young age, it's not unusual for it to start at 12 or younger and it IS NOT same age boys or even slightly older boys (or it wouldn't be so scary). It's middle-aged men.

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u/cupholdery 27d ago

That just sounds horrifying in every way. How do you even "warn" a 10 year old girl that grown men will leer at her after a year? Ugh.

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u/planet_rose 27d ago

My daughter is 10. As soon as she started developing little breasts, I had the talk with her about unwelcome attention from men. I explained that developing breasts was the signal. She asked why and I explained that some men were just disgusting and that if it happened, it was not her fault. She’s still very much a child, but AHs won’t care.

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u/Cravatfiend 27d ago

As someone who got breasts at 10 and wished someone had warned me - You've done a good thing. It's a shitty conversation to have, but I was so confused at that age when adult men tried to holler at/talk to me.