r/clevercomebacks 27d ago

That's some seriously old beer!

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago edited 27d ago

There are breweries in Europe with a history several times longer than that of the US.

The brewery for Spaten, for example, has a lineage first mentioned in 1397. Meanwhile, Stella Artois is the product of a brewery that first opened as a tavern in 1366 and was then purchased and renamed to the Brouwerij Artois in 1717 by its new owner Sebastien Artois.

These breweries have been around since the literal Middle Ages. Meanwhile, America’s oldest operating brewery is D.G. Yuengling and Son established in 1829 (No shade to it. It’s a good beer).

Edit: Because I’ve gotten a lot of comments about it and I can’t keep up with everyone I wanted to quickly clarify my stance. No, I do not think that the modern Spaten and Stella breweries are craft. They are, without doubt, modern “macro” breweries. By my definition, “craft” indicates brewing smaller scale, personal, batches with a focus on quality over quantity. With this in mind, I am of the opinion that those breweries were “craft” when they started out as they independently brewed quality stuff on a smaller scale. However, they were not called that at the time because the term would have been meaningless. In the Middle Ages (or before) everyone was crafting beer on that same scale and the concept of “macro” was nonexistent. So yes, the breweries I listed are not “craft” as we see the term. However, they were “craft” before the term ever needed to come into being.

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u/GCU_Problem_Child 27d ago

There is a brewery here in Bavaria that has been in continuous operation since 1040 AD. In fact, it is the oldest continuous operation brewery in the world.

https://www.weihenstephaner.de/en

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

What an interesting site. I didn’t even know there was a World Beer Cup. I should see if my local store carries any of their product.

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u/RunFromFaxai 27d ago

If it has enthusiasts, it has a tournament, no exceptions. They will be hard to find unless you fall down the rabbit hole for some niche things, but I've seen some pretty crazy championships. Customer support has championships. You sign your company up and at some points during the year testers will call in and act like a customer and score you. I once walked past a building that was hosting a typewriting championship.

Maybe you would like to join me in watching this year's Finnish Wife-Carrying championships?

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

Perhaps I shall. Finland has been dominating the competition for a few years now but I think the Estonians might cause an upset this year.

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u/RunFromFaxai 27d ago

Oh I get it, you're one of those "Taisto Miettinen is getting old"-doomsayers. We've heard all of that for years and yet he never lets Finland down. Bring your Estonian wives so they can see how a real man carries!

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

Look, there’s no denying the man’s impressive. Massive respect to him for all he’s done. But there’s no denying he had to switch wives just to get back on the winning streak. lol

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u/RunFromFaxai 27d ago

Perkele man, low blow :'(

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

You’re right. That might have been too soon. I’ll cheer the man on from the sidelines (while also cheering for the Estonians).

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u/RunFromFaxai 27d ago

Good man. I hope one day I will see you carry your wife and bring honour to your country!

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

At the rate I’m going I’ll be as old as Taisto before I even get married. Lmao. Maybe I can ask a female friend to volunteer as a partner. Now all I need to figure out is if there are tryout held on American soil.

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u/Grrerrb 27d ago

As an observer can I just say this has been fascinating and really lovely to read?

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u/LokisDawn 27d ago

Still better than that one finnish player that switched teams. Unfortunately, his husband was too heavy to keep him competitive.

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u/CHKN_SANDO 27d ago

Taisto Miettinen always tries to walk it in

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u/WatWudScoobyDoo 27d ago

Whatever happened to "Till death us do part"? Sport's gone down the shitter

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u/Sprucecaboose2 27d ago

I saw an Excel championship on ESPN 8.

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u/BarrelAged231 27d ago

Not The Ocho!

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u/msgajh 27d ago

“Brought to you by Tampex!”

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u/Ralath1n 27d ago

The Excel scene has sadly been dominated by the chinese market since the 16.22 patch that added localization. Makro called it back in the day, and it has panned out exactly as he predicted. Every western player in the pro excel scene now has to learn eastern macros to stay competitive...

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u/LO6Howie 27d ago

Was that before the European tram driving championships and just after the NCAA Spikeball divisionals?

Having access to ESPN 8 during lockdown was wild.

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u/Sprucecaboose2 27d ago

They still do some Ocho events during off hours on ESPN 2. They only do an hour of different things so you don't see the whole thing, but I watched some Excel, Cornhole, and Kickball.

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u/Steelcitysuccubus 27d ago

There's some weird shit on that channel. Saw a bus parking championship on there once

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u/_Apatosaurus_ 27d ago

Customer support has championships. You sign your company up and at some points during the year testers will call in and act like a customer and score you.

That sounds like it's less about "enthusiasts", and more about corporations testing employees under the guise of "competition."

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u/RunFromFaxai 27d ago

Yeah, I see what you mean. The company where I worked that participated was really chill about it and there was a bit of a celebration when we were suddenly told that we had been participating all along, but I do agree it's not much of a competition when you don't even know you're competing.

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u/Meradock 27d ago

Maybe you would like to join me in watching this year's Finnish Wife-Carrying championships?

Can I rent a wife?

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u/Constant-Elevator-85 27d ago

I like that this sport is actually only a couple decades old lol.

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u/koloso95 27d ago

You just have to look at the japanese (I think) who every year have several teams trying to "ride" freaking logs the size of a tree down a hill. Or the yearly cheese chase down a hill (the cheese get a one second headstart). And yes. There are injuries every year.

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u/coolmike69420 27d ago

Yeah, I came here to say this. I had some friends go to the brewery on their honeymoon and I guess they’ve already began working on their 1000 year anniversary celebration.

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

Man, imagine that. A thousand years of making beer.

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u/realnzall 27d ago

Imagine that. You've been pursuing the art of the perfect beer for centuries, to the point that you've won several worldwide awards and are preparing for your thousand year anniversary. Your brewery is older than most COUNTRIES. Entire empires have risen and fallen during the lifetime of your brewery. Your brewery is so old that it is possible people on the First Crusade brought your beer with them to the Holy Land.

And then some bloviating rascal probably not even old enough to drink yet in his home country, a crime infested ostensibly developed country with outsized importance due to the willingness of leadership to sacrifice its youth to fight wars in areas they can't even mark on a map, tries to claim that their pale imitation craft beer is better than yours and calls your beer weak.

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

It is rather funny when you think about it. Though, I will say, America does have some excellent modern breweries as well. I frankly don’t understand why people fight about it. We should all be friends and enjoy each other’s beer together. That’s the spirit of beer if you ask me.

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u/twonaq 27d ago

I once heard a song that really resonated with me, I think it fits here.

“More beer, more beer, more beer, more beer”

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u/SyraWhispers 27d ago

Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer

A long time ago way back in history When all there was to drink, was nothing but cups of tea. Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mopps, And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops.

Hey!

He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king. And to his praises we shall always sing. Look at what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer. Lord Bless Charlies Mopps the man who invented Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer

Source : the bard's tale

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u/Terrible-Hat-345 27d ago

One of my favorite ARPGs lol thanks for the reminder!

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u/GDWtrash 27d ago

Yes, by the punk band Fear...the title of course is "More Beer."

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u/PinchingNutsack 27d ago

the sad part is, its not an american exclusive behaviour

people in general just like to claim they are the best, then start a motherfucking war for it.

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u/Noodle_Dude_83 27d ago

I very much enjoyed reading this.

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u/Grrerrb 27d ago

Hey now there are some parts that aren’t crime-infested

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u/[deleted] 27d ago

Don't forget! USA. Best country in the world... FFS

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u/Impossible-Wear-7352 27d ago

Like many other highly technical hobbies, beer making was rapidly accelerated with the advent of sharing information easily and rapidly around the world. When you suddenly have thousands and thousands of people trying at home with generations of knowledge at their finger tips and cross collaborations on successes and failures, you're going to get some great results bubbling to the top that wouldn't have happened otherwise. And it just so happened to be a massively popular hobby in America. Many of the people that excelled in their hobby started their own businesses.

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u/Apprehensive-Log9639 27d ago

That was good lol but isn’t Bavaria in Germany? Like, the country that started the wars?😂😂

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u/bhyellow 27d ago

Do you even know how to read? Or does your inclination to be an ignorant tool trump your understanding of the written word?

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u/Graham_Whellington 27d ago

Bud…Europe is so bloodthirsty and quick to kill entire generations the United States had to take their shit away and not allow many of them to have armies and forced them all into a coalition. This is, again, because Europe had 0 chill and started two world wars, with one of them being an attempt to eradicate a whole group of people.

These two world wars were also on the tail of an entire century of small wars that took place all over the world as, again, Europeans traveled around the world to kill each other in new and exotic lands as they also killed all the locals.

This century of worldwide colonial competition and killing was preceded by a man from France who attempted to take over all of Europe and almost succeeded. Interestingly, he came to power because the people supporting him rounded up all of the people with any kind of connection to the previous government and cut their heads off.

When it comes to shit talking the United States and its importance in the world maybe take a minute of introspection and realize the United States inherited a shit show from a collection of European countries that didn’t understand the world and fucked it up by drawing lines everywhere and murdering the locals that didn’t agree.

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u/Apprehensive-Log9639 26d ago

Seems like the Europeans in this sub don’t know history very well lol. Talking about us starting wars when in reality we spent decades finishing the ones they started…

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u/Arizona_Slim 27d ago

Have you had some of theirs? It’squite good. My favorite Hefe is made by them.

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

I have not. Planning on checking it out though.

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u/rkorgn 27d ago

Now that's a thousand year reich I can get behind!

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u/ThatScaryBeach 27d ago

Millennial beer

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u/WokeBriton 27d ago

If I'm still alive and able to consume beer, I will definitely be seeking whatever celebratory beer they produce if it can be imported to Scotland.

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u/littlewhitecatalex 27d ago

Now THAT is a bucket list event!

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u/littlewhitecatalex 27d ago

Weihenstephaner wheat beer is 👌

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u/ElGosso 27d ago

They make my favorite hefeweissen. Their Oktoberfest is solid too,

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

Yeah. I have a pretty sizable shop nearby that carried a lot of imports. Gonna need to see if they carry any.

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u/ElGosso 27d ago

It's pretty widely available, I've seen it at shops with pretty mid-tier selections. Hope you enjoy it!

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u/[deleted] 27d ago

You should check out the documentary Beer Fest

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u/Darkest_97 27d ago

Pretty much every beer store I've been to has it so should you should be able to find it!

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u/LeviStubbsFanClub 27d ago

Try to find the Vitus, if you can.  Quite delicious. 

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u/feedmedamemes 27d ago

Didn't you see Beerfest?

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u/brewgeoff 27d ago

If you enjoy Hefeweizen then check them out.

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u/AjWaltz96 27d ago

I learned about the World Beer Cup from a little known documentary "Beerfest"....

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u/Ok_Ad_1297 27d ago

They have very wide distribution, at least in North America

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u/Princess_Moon_Butt 27d ago

I didn’t even know there was a World Beer Cup

Yeah it's weird, you'd think it'd be easier if everyone had their own.

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u/Cat_Dad13 27d ago

There’s a documentary about the World Beer Cup called Beerfest. Check it out. Interesting watch.

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u/fedfan1743 27d ago

It’s carried at Giant here in Virginia!

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u/Distortedhideaway 27d ago

I live in Portland, Oregon, and a local brewery here won gold in the pilsner category at the world beer cup last year. That's quite an achievement!

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u/LongmontStrangla 27d ago

I didn’t even know there was a World Beer Cup.

The location is top secret. You need to yodel the password.

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u/Blackbox7719 27d ago

Damn. Time to sign up for yodeling classes.

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u/FSCK_Fascists 27d ago

you should watch the documentary about that.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486551/

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u/CHKN_SANDO 27d ago

Weihenstephaner is pretty widely available in the states if that's where you are

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u/msg_me_about_ure_day 27d ago

world beer cup is a scam. all the shittiest beer you can buy in the swedish state alcohol monopoly store will have a big fat "WINNER OF WORLD BEER CUP [x year]".

99% sure you just pay to get a prize or some shit and it exists just for marketing.

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u/HarryScrote 27d ago

It’s distributed by a company in one of the Carolinas. I found it at my local Giant Eagle (grocery store chain in Ohio) a few times over the last month or two.

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u/Broberyn_GreenViper 27d ago

Check out Beerfest, excellent documentary

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u/bajatacosx3 27d ago

BevMo carries Weihenstephaner …

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u/buckidrummer 27d ago

World Beer cup is the largest international beer competition and is announced during the Craft Brewers Conference which rotates its location each year. (next year is in Indianapolis) Great American Beer Festival and is the largest US-only competition and takes place in Boulder Colorado every year. This one is super fun as it has a public sampling floor while CBC is mostly for industry people.

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u/Crotean 26d ago

Several of the local breweries here in Charlotte, NC routinely medal at the WBC. I think this is the best beer city in the country.